I’m just a millennial minimalist;
Looking for a meaningful job in a paperless, utilitarian workspace with midcentury desks;
Where the duties are minimal, as are the expectations;
And the office record collection could be stocked with Brian Eno LPs, or I could provide my own;
Attaching my CV which leads much to the imagination, and merely mentions my mentors and methodologies;
For a nominal fee, I will render my services to your institution, in a creative field of your choosing;
As long as there is coffee with which to break and sizeable stock options offered, I look forward to your response.