The powerful force of nostalgia has been on my mind. The tensions between memory and prayer, between returning to and creating toward. I create maps of covers, this artist with this song, this artist covering that artist, the way the songs fill time and space and connect us to subtle hints about who is valued, who is remembered.

And so this blog, relaunched, redesigned, with a certain time in mind, when writing was easy and emotions were strong and the consequences of honesty seemed to be less than the consequences of lying.

It’s hard now in my 30’s to feel like I can write honestly, freely. Every word seems to be a trap. Why this one or that one? Why this narrative or that one? What am I withholding because of the publicness of the forum? We’ve seen so much of the internet disappear. So little new is made. So few words are written when we used to write like our lives depended on it. For many, our lives did depend on it. Those days on LJ with our small circles of being known, with very real struggles and very dangerous consequences.

We will see what comes out of this latest edition. If nothing else, to get my hands moving and my mind connected to the choice to hit ‘Publish’. There’s a lot I need to publish over the next 10 years, so let’s get writing.